Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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