It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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