Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
