Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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