he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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