Don't you send me to vm
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
