they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The adults are the big ones right?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
