sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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