her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
of course. lets lasso hookers.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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