I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
