I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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