were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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