its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
