I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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