That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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