At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
