Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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