he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
