Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
