I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
