So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
