I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
