i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
