4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
