I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
