Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
