i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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