I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
