he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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