There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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