Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
