i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
