We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
so much tequila, so little girl.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
