Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
