I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
