I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
