she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
