He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i was born a porn star she said
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
