he wants to bone in the snuggie
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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