It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This is the high leading the old right now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
