Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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