You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
