Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
