can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
