Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
