At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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