I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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