he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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