Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
