Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dear god my vagina.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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