I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I did not marry a roomba.
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