Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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