There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Life is so much better after having sex.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
