I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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